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Updated Sept 12, 2006
SPECIAL ALERT: (Auditions and Jobs  of immediate concern)
Auditions and Jobs that are current as of this update
Sept 24-25: Unpaid. Auditions for Niel Simon’s Proposals’. At Sands Theater Center, 600 N. Woodland Blvd (17-92), DeLand, 32720. All roles open. Prepare a 2 minute comedic monologue. You will be asked to do a cold read. Show runs Nov 3-19.
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OF SPECIAL INTEREST
For your edification, delectation and enjoyment, here are some movie reviews from our parapetetic movie reviewer, Kevin Gieb, who travels far and wide to report on movies you might emjoy. Forget about Eggbert and what's-his-name, these are the real, definitive movie reviews. All others are imitations

TALLEDEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY
From the creative team that brought you ANCHORMAN, along with many of the cast members, we now have this wacky look at the world of NASCAR. It pokes fun and pays homage to the sport all at the same time. Will Ferrell is the title character Ricky Bobby, a witless redneck who starts his driving career as a young boy, taking off in Mom’s car. His good-for-nothing Daddy instills in Ricky a love for speed, and offers such chestnuts of wisdom as “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Ricky winds up on a pit crew in the NASCAR circuit, and when a driver hops out of the car during a race to get a snack, Ricky jumps in and a legend is born. He gets a pretty, brainless golddigger wife, and has two boys he names Walker and Texas Ranger (TR for short).
Ricky has the perfect life, until one days his racing team hires a French scoundrel, superbly played by Sacha Baron Cohen. He throws Ricky for a loop, and soon our hero loses his wife, his home, his race car, and all the perks that meant so much to him. This is a very silly but often hilarious movie. If you like NASCAR, you will probably enjoy this movie. If you like Will Ferrell, you will probably love this movie.


MONSTER HOUSE
This CGI animated film was viewed in Digital 3D, and that made it unique and interesting to watch. But it is most definitely not for young kids, as it is very dark and somewhat disturbing. Two young boys and a girl decide to investigate the creepy old house on their block. The mean old man who lives there has been rushed to the hospital, and this will give the kids the chance to check out the rumors about the horrors they have heard about. Plus, the old man has taken hundreds of toys that have rolled onto his property. These kids want answers. What they find is terror, with a few tentative laughs along the way. The movie is shot in a very dark way, and it has a foreboding mood about it. It is an amazing technical achievement, but seems to lack the heart of Pixar and Dreamworks CGI movies. This is just OK, definitely nowhere near great.


SNAKES ON A PLANE
Many folks have asked, But How Do The Snakes Get Onto A Plane? The answer is simple, if completely unbelievable. We start off with a young man witnessing the slaying of a Federal Prosecutor by ruthless gangsters in Hawaii. When these mob-related thugs come after the witness, Federal Agent Samuel L. Jackson snatches him and takes him into custody. The plan is to take the witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles. But somehow the bad guys find out which plane they will be on, and stick a big crate full of snakes into the cargo hold. It appears to be a crate full of flowers and Hawaiian leis, but there is a false bottom and the snakes are hidden in the bottom. (Which would easily pass through Security in post-9/11) And the flowers and leis are sprayed with a chemical that makes the snakes extra aggressive. The crate blows open midway through the flight, and all species of snakes are suddenly everywhere at once. And it could not be more hokey or incredulous. This movie was all the rage on the Internet 8 months before it opened, but all those Net surfers failed to show up when it opened. Cheesy and schlocky are the best terms to describe this awful mess.

WORLD TRADE CENTER
What a nice surprise, to get such a good, earnest and sincere movie about the tragedy of 9/11 from Director Oliver Stone. One would expect a sensationalistic or conspiracy-laden plot based on all of his past work. But what we have here instead is the story of two rather average men, Port Authority cops, who bravely did their jobs in the face of chaos and disaster, and nearly lost their lives in the process. Nicholas Cage stars as the Sarge in charge of a handful of cops who go into one of the World Trade Center towers planning to rescue those in peril. Instead, the building collapses on them and they are the ones in need of rescue. Only two of the cops survive, and they are buried deep in debris and pinned down by heavy chunks of concrete. The two cops talk to each other in an effort to keep awake and also to keep each others spirits up. Director Stone nicely intercuts this with the families of the officers, frantic because they know nothing and desperate to learn the fate of their loved ones. UNITED 93 came out last Spring and was the first movie to address that fateful day. It was well-made and effective, but this is completely different and, in its own way, a much better movie.


LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Just your typical dysfunctional family on a road trip movie. Greg Kinnear is the Dad, a motivational speaker who motivates no one. Toni Collette is the Mom, extremely frustrated with the task of trying to keep her family together. Alan Arkin is the Grandfather, a heroin snorting free-thinker who was thrown out of a retirement home for getting into serious mischief. And Steve Carrell as the Uncle, a gay Proust scholar who has just botched a suicide attempt because his young lover jilted him. He hits it off with the teen son, who has taken a vow of silence and refuses to speak. When the young daughter gets a call that she has been entered into the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant, the family climbs into the malfunctioning VW bus and heads to California. This is a funny, sweet, strange and poignant movie. It was a big hit at the Sundance Film Festival this year, and the reason is clearly evident.


INVINCIBLE
The Walt Disney company has successfully made a series of true-life sports films over the past few years, and they have all been quality productions. They include REMEMBER THE TITANS, THE ROOKIE, and MIRACLE. Now we can add this movie to that list, and it truly is a crowd pleaser. It is the tale of Vince Papale, a down-on-his-luck fellow in Philadelphia who has lost his job and his wife. Just when things can’t get any worse, a new Coach takes over the losing Philadelphia Eagles football team. Vince and his buddies in the neighborhood live and die by the Eagles, and are depressed that their team is doing so poorly. The new Coach, determined to refresh the team, has open calls for anyone who wants to try out for the team. Vince decides to give it a try, and turns out to be a natural. But will his natural gifts be enough for him to make his mark in the brutal world of the NFL? This movie has the same inspirational feel as RUDY.




ALSO OF SPECIAL INTEREST
Go to B.E.D. with the Blue Sheet
Every year, in the Spring, for as far back into antiquity as 2004, the Blue Sheet has sponsored an annual  Business of Entertainment Day, and it's really, really cheap. We have cleverly called it B.E.D (just so we can say, "Go to B.E.D. with the Blue Sheet." Patrick thought of that. He's very clever.) We offer you a chance to spend some quality time with real movie makers, real screen writers, real acting teachers, real producers, real actors  and everything. It even gives you a buffet lunch, and you can't beat that with a (wait for it....) stick. We haven't scheduled 2006 yet, but 2005, in June, featured film ikon and Florida's foremost filmmaker, William Grefé. It was a blast. It was graciously aided and abetted by Full Sail Real World Education, which provided us meeting space and assisted us in geting the word out.


Let your HOUSE be a STAR:
 Pay $500/10 hr day. Looking for homes to use as locations for shooting testimonials and b-roll for infomercials. Company carries $1 million insurance policy. Sometimes they even use the home owner in the show for an additional fee. Need at least 3500 square foot homes from West Palm Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. Call, fax or e-mail any info and even pictures if you have them to: Nicole McMillan, InfoWorx, Turnkey Infomarketing, 2255 Glades Rd Ste 324A, Boca Raton 33431; 888-326-DRTV Toll Free; 561/573-2332 Cell Phone; 561/496-1061 Fax; nicole@infoworx.com www.infoworx.com

AND FINALLY
Independent film makers please check out Behind The Indie Camera.
This project is being funded by the Metro Orlando Film and Television
Office. Calling for your input to display the industry that exists
and continues to grow. More details? Link to:
                              Behind the Indie Camera

 End of special alerts -- for now!
While we wait for other  special announcements to come rolling in,  here are a bunch of another kind of  Alerts. Think of them as NEVERS.
     1. Never pay an agent an "administrative fee" or a "registration fee"  or a "booking fee" or any kind of fee for the "privilege" of having that agent represent you. It is against the law in Florida. Don't take classes or "training" seminars from agents. Those are also forbidden by law. Most agents know this. Some try to get away with it anyway. Any agent who demands such a fee  or insists upon you spending money for any reason whatsoever should be reported immediately to the Department of Business and Professional Regulation (the DBPR), Northwood Centre, 1940 North Monroe St, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0750; phone 851/922-4977. (Be sure you file your complaint on their own forms -- you can download them. Otherwise they will pretend they never heard of you. And if you care too, fax, email or mail us a copy. ) The practice of charging such fees is specifically and explicitly prohibited under 468.410 of the Florida Talent Agency Statute: "Prohibition against registration fees..." Anyone who charges them, therefore, is a crook. Treat them accordingly.
     2. Never allow yourself to be intimidated by threats like, "I'll see to it that no agent in the state will work with you." That, too, is a clear violation of the Talent Agency law. It's a felony, in fact. The agent can, and should, lose his or her license for doing it. Get the statement on tape if you can; get it in front of a witness or two. Then blow the whistle. Such agents have no place in  the entertainment industry.
     3. Under no circumstances are you required to use a particular agent's photographer, or attend a particular agent's classes, or buy anything pushed on you by an agent -- not books, not photos, not tote bags, not makeup kits, not listings on CDs or the Internet or in some worthless  "talent book," not videos, not "white cards," not address labels, not chewing gum, not anything! These practices are also specifically forbidden by law in Florida. In fact, NEVER buy photos from or through a talent agent.
Now go see what jobs are available. Click on Jobs & Auditions up above. But first, if you want to subscribe on line, continue:
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